she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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