you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
