He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
