Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
