Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
