Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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