im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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