If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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