Apparently you make a good broom.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
