I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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