Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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