I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
