About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
