I heard we made out
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Terrible idea I love it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
