we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
