I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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