Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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