i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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