ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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