I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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