you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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