I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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