I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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