we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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