Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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