I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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