At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
