I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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