All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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