She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just threw up on my dentist
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
