# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
