Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
