My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
