I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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