i don't like sucking hair
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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