what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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