and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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