Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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