i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
