that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
