I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
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i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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