I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
