It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
