Buhtt sex?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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