I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
