did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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