do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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