so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
