I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
