Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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