yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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