The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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