Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
