Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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