doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
