Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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