we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
