hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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